The Widow at Zarephath

From the book Sacred Influence...

Chapter 4: The Widow at Zarephath
1) List three main positive traits that first attracted you to your husband. When was the last time you complimented him for these traits?
Well, the first trait was a physical one- his eyes. LOL. He knows that. And I still tell him he has pretty eyes.
But as far as his personality... I think his love for God and his intention to live for God was one of the first things that I found attractive about him. I probably don't remind him of this enough.
I also was attracted to the way he respected and treated his family as well as my family. He has taught me a lot... and I think we actually do talk about this a lot. He knows I appreciate that in him.

2) If your husband were to die, apart from his companionship, what two or three things would you miss most? How can you affirm these qualities now?
The first several things that came to mind are probably under the "companionship" category: cuddling him, his holding me when I'm scared or sad, talking to him, smelling him (or his clothes... lol... yes, I do this), etc... But outside of companionship? I'd miss his leadership, his advice, his help, his "other half-ness" to me. I try to make a point of thanking him for these things today and also not taking them for granted. I know a lot of women don't have this.

3) Does James 3:2 ("we all stumble in many ways") help you look at your husband- and your marriage- in a new light? How so?
Sure. But it's nothing I didn't already know or recognize.

4) What kind of expression is usually on your face when your husband returns home? What are some realistic expectations for consistently greeting him in an edifying and influence-producing way? What can you do to stay sensitive to this over the long haul?
I don't think there is a usual. LOL. Sometimes I hardly look up from what I'm doing (we've talked about each of us doing this... how it's disrespectful and hurtful... so we are both working on it). Sometimes I am smiling, kissy faced, and wanting hugs. Sometimes I'm grouchy and tired and don't really want him to come near me. It all depends... but it is something I need to make a conscience effort to work on. I know what time he gets home from work, so I should be ready, listening for him to pull up, and then be prepared to greet him in a loving way.

5) How would your husband's friends describe the way you look at your husband? Does this need to change? How so?
Honestly, I don't know! If you have an opinion, please share with me. But how does it need to change? If I don't know, maybe I should make a better/bigger effort to look at and respond to him lovingly.

6) Where is your man most likely to fail, character-wise? How can you- following Becky Allender's example- call your husband to his best with affirmation, while still saying "no" to the sin?
Sometimes he says words we'd prefer not be used in our home. When that happens, I usually remind him kindly... but I also try not to slip up myself, so to be a good example. Sometimes he watches movies, plays video games, or something like that- that are not edifying and that have poor character traits displayed in them. In these times, I sometimes suggest a board game we can play together, reading together, etc...