Have you ever felt God working in your life? Sometimes it happens in huge ways... like there is a downpour of His love and His awesomeness and we are overwhelmed by it. Sometimes it happens in smaller ways... like He just gave us a gentle hug. If you've had any moments like these, I'd love to receive comments about them.
I notice that the more I learn about God and the more time I spend talking to Him, learning about Him, and living for Him- the more I recognize His blessings and the way He works in my life.
The last week or so has been especially interesting...
I was struggling with sadness in relationship to our adoption process. The waiting is so hard sometimes. You'd think we could/should do something to speed things up, be we can't. People ask me how it's going and I never have any news. "Just waiting..." is all I can say.
One Saturday night/Sunday morning I was asleep and having a very vivid, very interesting dream. Our adoption case worker was driving me somewhere and she wouldn't tell me where. When we arrived in a neighborhood, she told me she was going to just let go of the steering wheel and let God direct the car. So she did. (She even closed her eyes!) In my dream, I thought she was nuts. "What are you doing!?!" The car drove right into a driveway and stopped. She opened her eyes, looked around, and said "This must be it. I'll be right back. You wait here." She went into the house and after a couple minutes came back out with a baby. "This is your baby boy!" She told me, handing me the small newborn. I cried and cried with joy.
It was just a dream. But it felt so real.
Later on Sunday (after church) I was home alone... I let my mind wander about the dream, about not really having a baby, and about several of my friends that are having babies. I cried and cried out to God. "Take away this pain! I don't mind waiting, but I don't want to hurt because of it! This is too much for me! Teach me how to wait without all the grief and longing and pain."
It was then that I realized the analogy that my dream portrayed- Jesus take the wheel. (Surrendering to Him all that concerns me.)
At Bible study on Monday night I offered the adoption process up as my prayer request. I just wanted to have peace about it.
Tuesday evening I attend another Bible study- this is the one about Esther. I went to Bible study on Tuesday evening and we were discussing God's timing. ("For such a time as this" is a common theme throughout Esther.) The study is done by Beth Moore, and we get the privilege of watching her videos while we do the study. In that video, she told us about waiting... waiting on the Lord. (Isaiah 40:31 But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.) Waiting on the Lord and waiting for an event are so different from each other. And that night, at Bible study, God revealed this to me.
Waiting on the Lord means that you enjoy today- you live for Him today and you just soak in all the blessings that He brings you day by day. Waiting on an event, however, is when you look forward to something so so much that it consumes you. You can't stop thinking about it, you day dream about it, you plan for it, you prepare for it, you live it, breathe it, dream it, wish it...
I was waiting for an event. And I was missing out on the blessings around me.
When I realized that, I prayed to God to teach me to wait on Him. I asked Him to give me the strength I'd need to depend on Him. I even surrendered the adoption to Him. There is simply nothing I can do at this point, but to trust God- the one who has ALWAYS come through for me. I am excited, because I know God has plans for me. (Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.) He will make everything clear to me if I just trust in Him. ( Psalm 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.)
If that weren't enough, I got an email from a very special friend. She told me she wanted to pray with me. Unsure why, I agreed to meet with her. Then she told me that she had a vision of a girl (that resembled me) holding a baby... and she thought God wanted her to pray for/over me. Wow. God is awesome, isn't He? We met and shared our hearts and prayed together for each other... just one more time God showed me His love.
Don't forget, I want to hear how God is working in your life too...
why hasn't anyone commented? what a great post. one small experience i immediately thought of was when i was going through a hard time in college (and, incidentally, doing A LOT of praying and searching) and i had one last class to get through that day before i could go home and have a good cry. i just needed SOMETHING to get through, and i looked across the group and saw a girl whom i didn't know very well but really admired. she smiled (in my direction, but i don't know if it was at me or not) and somehow that was just what i needed. the thought pressed on my mind, "i can still smile, i haven't lost that" and it gave me the ability to smile and feel better.
ReplyDeletei love those little "hugs" or "tender-mercies" from God!