Just For Laughs

I'm an early bird and a night owl. So I'm wise and I have worms.

or do you prefer this one:

Ready? Comon' guys! Early worm gets the worm.

Nobody likes beets, Dwight! Why don't you grow something that everybody does like? You should grow candy.

The older you get, the bigger the chances you're gonna die. You knew that.

Society teaches us that having feelings and crying is bad and wrong. Well, that's baloney, because grief isn't wrong. There's such a thing as good grief. Just ask Charlie Brown.

I am taking responsibility and it is up to me to get rid of the curse that hit Meredith with my car. I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.

Angelina Jolie was on and she adopted a baby from Asia. And she said that changed her life and that really inspired me. So I want you to look into see how much a little Chinese baby would cost...

Why can’t boys play with dolls? Why does society force us to use urinals when sitting down is far more comfortable?

[discussing his corporate credit card] It’s ridiculous. They took my card away because I spent eighty bucks at a magic shop. What they don’t understand is that I bought the stuff to impress potential clients…

[about the Christmas party] Unbelievable. I do the nicest thing that anyone’s ever done for these people and they freak-out. Well happy birthday Jesus, sorry your party’s so lame.

Well that is a perfectly good mini-tree Kevin and we are going to sell that to charity. That’s what Christmas is all about.





These are all quotes... from the same guy. :D