Being Still

Some good news! Or at least, some happier news:

Here's an email I got from the adoption coordinator at ECFA. This was in response to one I sent her today, wondering/worrying about being able to financially go through with everything:

Thank you for your email and sharing your feelings with me. I know that this is an overwhelming process and if you don't feel that you are in a good financial place it is even more overwhelming. Here are some of my thoughts.... You can apply for financial assistance - you would ask about it during your first session with your worker, Kathy. The amount of assistance varies but it is worth a shot!Another thought, you can complete the home study and be on hold until you are able to pay off the home study cost. Once that is completely paid off - no matter how long - you can then be shown to birth parents who have decided to make an adoption plan. Your process won't be hindered in any way, you will be able to begin this and be moving forward , just a little slower. I certainly don't want to pressure you to start something you are not comfortable with. Please take your time in thinking and praying about how you would like to proceed. As an agency, we want to support you through this journey in every way possible!

Wow! What a relief! I felt like a ton of bricks were lifted off of my shoulders. At the same time, I'm tired. I'm confused. I'm sad. I'm frustrated. But something that I need to remember, and I hope to remember EVERY day is... "Be still, Sarah, and know that I am God." How encouraging, huh? I don't have to be all knowing. I don't have to be in charge here. I don't have to freak out or worry or run around crazy because I have to make things work. No way. I need to be still, and remember Who is God (and who is not).