Not Me! Monday

I hope I can remember everything... there sure is a lot this time around!

* I did not fall down the basement stairs. If I had, there would've been a good reason for it, such as slipping or tripping, or skipping a step. But of course not. Not me.

* If I HAD fallen down the stairs (which of course I didn't), I would not have a HUGE bruise on my bottom (or on my "bum" as my wonderful twin friends say). And it would not have hurt like crazy for 3 straight days. Of course not. Bruising? Me?

* When we were getting ready to host our Sunday school class as a monthly get together, I did not forgot to send an invite out on Facebook. That is sometimes the only way people communicate, and that is sometimes the only way they would've known we had an event coming up. So no, I did not post the event the night before. That would be slacker-ish of me and so procrastinator-ish too!

* When my guests from my Tastefully Simple party were getting ready to leave, they did not find a huge hole in my front steps. And then, as if they had found one, I did not pull the carpet off the steps to reveal our cement steps practically crumbling apart.

* I did not let my nieces paint hand prints on my playroom walls today- wearing their normal clothes. Only a crazy person would do that. So of course they did not get paint on their clothes, and Eloise did not get paint in her hair. Of course a sane person would tell them all the rules of painting, being so careful to explain every little detail before diving in. So I for sure did not forget to do that.

* Pretending that I DID let them paint and that they DID get paint on their clothes, I did not then let Evie wear one of my shirts, which was basically falling off of her.


* And I had not let Evie wear that huge shirt down to play in the chilly basement either.

* I did not show up to bring my grandpa to therapy today only to find out he wasn't scheduled to have his therapy today- it's tomorrow. Our family has it all together, and we would never make a mistake like that. (Pretending that I had done this, the people there would've been so nice to let us stay and let Grandpa get some therapy time in... they would've felt so sorry for me... had I done that.)

* In trying to get a good deal of whole chicken breasts (on the bone) at Armando's (it was 89 cents a pound!!!), I did not chicken out on using my spanish and settled for the 4 lbs that the clerk wanted to sell me. I would've been proud to show off my spanish and say "Diez libras de pollo por favor!"

* I did not order 2 free coffees from McDonalds today. I know better than to drink THAT much caffeine in one day- and if I had, I bet I would've been shaking a lot.

* I did not do dishes today that were sitting there since Saturday.

I am sure there are more, but I'm quitting. For your sake and mine, it's just better this way.
Hope you enjoyed reading my Not Me! Mondays today!