Sacred Influence

I am reading a new book that Jeffrey got me for Christmas called Sacred Influence (by Gary Thomas). After each chapter, there are discussion questions or study guide questions or whatever you call them. There is no room for writing, and I have been known to start notebooks for such thing. However, I have done that so much then I quit and give up and the notebook is only half-filled and I don't dare start anything else in that same book!!!

So I decided to open my heart and share my answers right here! I also thought it might encourage some of you other wives out there. So once in awhile, you'll see these blog posts. But you'll also see my "normal" ones too.

Chapter One: The Glory of a Godly Woman

1)What is the difference between trying to change a man and trying to influence him?
Changing a man means that you find fault with him and you either nag him to change that or you work on things with him so that he can change it. But influencing a man means that you behave in a way that makes your husband a better person. You react, submit, encourage, and love in such peaceful and God-honoring ways... and this has no other reaction than for your husband to become a better person because of it.

2) Do you think it's true that women tend to be more invested in their marriages than men? If so, why do you think this may be the case? What are the challenges of such a reality?
You know, when I read that part of this chapter, I didn't completely agree! I think that men and women are probably equally invested (or not invested, sometimes)... it's just in varying ways. For Jeff and I, I notice that I am more invested emotionally. Where he seems more invested financially. Does that make sense? I don't think he's not invested in his marriage. I think he truly cherishes it, and we just have different ways of going about showing that.

3) If you "caught" your husband bragging about you, what do you think he would be saying? What would you like to hear him say in the future? Identify some things that you can do to start building on this.
I guess he'd probably be telling somebody something funny I did. I seem to be a source of his joy and comic relief in life. Sometimes he laughs just because I am. And sometimes he'll say "I love to hear you laugh." or "I love to see you so happy." He'll even rewind my favorite parts of movies over and over just so I laugh long and hard.
What would I want him to say? I think I'd like to hear him tell people that I'm a good housekeeper. I know I'm sort of not (ha ha ha!), but I think that's something to strive for. That I can impress him each day with how nice the house looks or something like that.

4) On a scale of 1-10, one being "I feel best about myself when men like me and pay attention to me." and ten being "I believe I am worthy because I'm made in the image of God and am loved by God," where do you fall? What can women do- for themselves and to encourage other women- to move up that scale?
I am probably a 5. By nature, I am a people pleaser... so I always seek approval from others... however, it's not always men. But I do value my dad's, husband's and pastor's thoughts and feedback very much! But I know my "worth" and my value is placed in who God made me. I am who I am because of Him. I think in general, though, women need to stop comparing themselves to each other. They need to see deep inside themselves at the women God created them to be... special, unique, and lovely.

5) How does your image of yourself as a woman compare with the Scriptures Gary shares in this chapter? What was compatible? What was different?
That is very interesting... the scripture that was brought up were all ones that I've thought about and prayed about in the past. I guess reading them just made it hit home just a little bit harder... and reminded me just who I am in God. I didn't really compare myself to them... I just use them to strive to be a godly wife and a godly woman.

6) What are the marks of a woman who has turned her marriage into idolatry? How would doing this undercut a woman's power to positively influence her husband in a godly way?
This is so cool. This was what hit me the most... GOD is my source of ALL things... money, food, clothes, shelter, joy, etc... NOT JEFF! While God gave me Jeff, He still wants me to look to HIM for all these needs. And He has promised in His word that He will provide them! That is so awesome! So for me to think Jeff is the provider of those important things was placing him in a place that God has said He wanted to be... and promised He'd be! If I don't let GOD be that, then I'm only looking at disappointment from Jeffrey... because he is not God.