Grandpa's Last Day

We went up to Minnesota to be with my grandpa, as we knew he was failing. My mom and I got up there on Thursday late afternoon, with my cousin, Matthew, in tow (funny story about that... we "found" him on our way up to Minnesota, so we followed each other the rest of the way). We arrived and all visited Grandpa until he got sleepy and went to bed for the night. Mom and I headed back to our motel.

We set our alarms for the next morning so that Mom could help my sister, Katie with her kiddos and so that I could sit with Grandpa. When I was with Grandpa that morning, he was very weak and didn't get out of bed even to sit in his chair. That's okay. He was comfortable. I fed him baby food and he actually took most of it, without spitting it out at me (which he had done before, because his brain wasn't telling his mouth/throat how to work). I was so excited. He also took sips of juice, water, and Dr. Pepper. He was such a trooper! I was so proud of him. I talked to him, sang to him, and fed him until my grandma, aunt, and cousin (Matthew) arrived. I let them have their time with him and I met up with Mom, Katie, and the kiddos.

Afterward, Katie stopped over to see Grandpa. Mom and I went to grab some lunch. Matthew called to let us know that they were leaving the nursing home. He also let us know that Grandpa was glad to see Grandma. He knew who she was enough to hold onto her hand... tight... and not want to let go.

After lunch, Mom and I returned to see Grandpa. Matthew joined us a little while later. Grandpa mostly slept. But we talked to him anyway and combed his hair (he always loved his hair- keeping combs close by). We knew he could hear us because he responded with wiggling his eyes brows. (This is something Grandpa used to always do to us kids to be silly...) We'd use his eyebrows as his "yeses" to our questions. "Grandpa, are you cold? Do you need more blankets?" or "Grandpa, do you want Dr. Pepper?" LOL. He'd wiggle his eyebrows. But there were also times he would not wiggle them... those were the times he was saying "no thank you." :)

My sister, Jessica, arrived in the evening. She planned to stay the night with Grandpa. Mom and I hesitated leaving her alone because Grandpa's breathing had gotten suddenly worse- heavy and raspy. The nurse told us he was most certainly failing quickly, but she could never tell us how long it would actually be. They repositioned Grandpa and he looked so peaceful. He rested nicely, and Mom and I felt comfortable leaving Jessica with him for a little bit so we could get a little rest. It was midnight when we returned to our motel.

It was around 1am when Jessica called us to come back because he wasn't doing well. Few more minutes later, she called while we were on our way over... he had died.

What I didn't tell you is the coolest part of all of this:

Mom and I weren't sure if we should stay or go and leave Jessica alone. I knew I needed some rest, but I hated seeing Grandpa in the condition he was in, and it was taking a toll on me. (Mom and Jess were able to cry in front of everybody, but I felt like I had to be the "rock" or something.) I left the room and looked out a window at the end of the hallway. I just let myself cry and cry as I prayed and asked God that it wouldn't be too long before Grandpa could join Him in Heaven. And then I asked God what to do. Should we stay here all night? Should we leave? I also asked God that somebody from our family would be with him when he does pass away. But I asked God to NOT let Mom be there. Mom did not want to be there when he actually passed away, but like me, she wanted somebody to be there.

Mom and I left. And within the hour, God took my grandpa to be with Him. But the best part of it all? Jessica sat with him. God gave her an amazing peace while she sat with him- she wasn't afraid, and did just the right things even though she knew what was happening. She sat there holding his hand, talking and singing to him. That's how he left this earth! Isn't that wonderful!?! And Mom and I were not there, which was probably a very good thing.

Something interesting that Mom and Jessica agreed with me about- when we saw Grandpa's body laying there after he had died, we all knew he was gone. Ya know? His soul and spirit were not in that body anymore. Even up to his last moments, he was there... it was still Grandpa. But once he died, he was really gone... in Heaven. That was the most reassuring thing to me. God revealed that whole "death concept" to me... because He knew I didn't understand it. But knowing that just the "shell" of Grandpa was left, and knowing the real Grandpa was already up in Heaven with Jesus (and he had a new, perfect body)... it was amazingly a peaceful feeling. Thank God.

And thank God that Grandpa's last day on earth was a happy one, right? Having family all around all day long... Responding to people... Even getting to eat and drink a little bit (he always loved food!). He had a good last day. And now he's having a wonderful forever.