I want to feel normal. I want to be normal.
I should really just stop Facebook all together... it makes me feel bad about myself. I get updates from friends that I don't even keep up with much... and they're all livin' life like it's all good and fine. And here am I... struggling to make it from this day to the next. I'm tired of seeing how beautiful everybody is. I'm tired of seeing how successful everybody is. I'm tired of seeing their children and their pregnant bellies.
Sorry... must be a bad day today.
Actually, it is. I woke up really sore today. Not to mention, I'm totally tired and I've slept a lot already. I have no energy or motivation (or strength) to do anything... so all I do is sit, do stuff on the computer, crossword puzzles, sleep, eat, etc...
I think I can finally fully taste things. I think my taste buds went to sleep after my procedure. Everything tasted bland or tasted like nothing. I had no cravings for anything and honestly never felt like eating. I'm eating, and some things actually taste good (or bad).
Oh well.
I just wish this wasn't my life, ya know?
And I'm starting to wonder if watching Little M in the mornings was a bad idea. I mean, I quit my job because I had to take care of myself. And now I have an obligation... I am depended on. And I don't think it's good. I have to wake up at 5:30am every day to be with her... but if I have to "call in sick" then I am making her mom call in sick too. That's not fair. What did I get myself into? Do I have to get myself out of it?!?
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