Some of you have encouraged me since my last post... to go ahead and talk about what's bothering me.
The thing is... I still can't. It's not just health. It's not just financial stuff. It's not just normal things I can talk about... I mean... it is those things as well. But if I can't say anything nice, I shouldn't say anything at all, right?
Seriously? You want to know?
My grandma has not spoken to me since she left in April. When she heard that I had cirrhosis (my mom told her, but I guess she already knew...go figure), she said "That must be overwhelming." OVERWHELMING!?! Do you want to know what's overwhelming? This family is overwhelming. NOBODY in my mom's family talks to us anymore. Everybody thinks we're evil people. Can you imagine what that does for my heart and for my spirit? And you think my health problems are overwhelming? I don't think so. It would be nice to have encouragement from family... but instead I get ignored.
There really is so much more that I can't tell you because somebody will read it. The wrong somebody, that is.
I'm not you. And I'm not the other person either. I don't have it all together, as much as you'd like to believe. So just believe me when I say that although I am sad and hurt... I am not a hateful person and I'm not evil.
I
AM NOT
EVIL!
You are not evil. And I know that it's very hurtful to not be talked to by family. I still luff you, and I'll talk to you all the time, mmmkay! I will pray for you and for your family, that God will soften their hearts. I love you gril!
ReplyDeleteMelanie