Adoption/Foster Care Stuff...

So... I called some agencies that my friend suggested. One of them sounds very particular and almost unrealistic for us... but I'm not closing that door yet. The other one sounds more promising. Their goal is to primarily use foster homes with intentions of the families reuniting. There doesn't seem to be a lot of "babies" to adopt. But I guess it would be a possibility if it's God's will. I was sort of sad after talking to the lady about it. I have a huge heart for kids. I will open my heart and home to any child that needs it. But there's that motherly instinct inside of me that wants to scream out "GIVE ME A BABY!" Knowing now that our chances of getting a baby are slim, I feel sort of sad and sort of selfish. Right after getting off the phone with that lady, the Casting Crowns song played... "Somewhere in the Middle." I could hear the words ringing in my heart...

Somewhere between the hot and the cold
Somewhere between the new and the old
Somewhere between who I am and who I used to be
Somewhere in the middle, You'll find me
Somewhere between the wrong and the right
Somewhere between the darkness and the light
Somewhere between who I was and who You're making me
Somewhere in the middle, You'll find me
Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control
Fearless warriors in a picket fence, reckless abandon wrapped in common sense
Deep water faith in the shallow end and we are caught in the middle
With eyes wide open to the differences, the God we want and the God who is
But will we trade our dreams for His or are we caught in the middleAre we caught in the middleSomewhere between my heart and my hands
Somewhere between my faith and my plans
Somewhere between the safety of the boat and the crashing waves
Somewhere between a whisper and a roar
Somewhere between the altar and the door
Somewhere between contented peace and always wanting more
Somewhere in the middle You'll find me
Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control
Lord, I feel You in this place and I know You're by my side
Loving me even on these nights when I'm caught in the middle

The section that says "With eyes wide open to the differences, the God we want and the God who isBut will we trade our dreams for His or are we caught in the middle" really strikes me. Will I trade my dreams of being mommy to a baby for His plans? Maybe it IS still His plan... but in case it's not, I can't be hurt... I can just trust that He'll use me... and I know He will. =)